Wolverine: Global Jeopardy #1 (1993)

April 26, 2017 GenFlagg

It’s 1993 and you hear the term “WOLVERINE FIRST ISSUE”. Hecks yes, that sounds awesome! Where can I get it?!

Well, it’s actually a one shot. Oh well, that’s okay. That means it’ll be exclusive! I’m in! Remember how big “Spider-Man vs. Wolverine” was?!

Well, it’s actually a promotional thing. Hey! No problem. Even more exclusive! Like those old “March of Comics” things from the 60’s. This will be worth tushy-loads of money, in the future!

Well, it’s actually cross-promoted with the WWF. WWF?! Sweet! I’m down to see Wolverine tangle with “Macho Man” Randy Savage or Yokozuna! Maybe he’ll form a new tag team with fellow Canadian Bret Hart! Cool!

Well, it’s actually the “World Wildlife Fund” and this is to promote endangered species and environmental awareness. Hmmm…. okay. That sounds like a good cause. I’m still in.

Well, it’ll feature a team-up with Namor the Sub-Mariner, Ka-Zar and Shanna. What?! Those B-list clowns in underwear? Plus Zabu the saber-toothed tiger. Umm…I’m still hearing “Wolverine” and “FIRST ISSUE” and now “SABRETOOTH”! Yes! Yes! Take my money!

Hey, it was 1993.

Well, it’s actually a fun story. Very basic plot, as Wolverine, Namor the Sub-Mariner, Ka-Zar and Shanna all, individually, notice that wild animals are suddenly disappearing. Of course, like most opening Wolverine scenes, he’s in a forest, tracking animals. Namor notices seals disappearing in the Mediterranean; while also throwing out his usual condescending line about humans polluting the world’s waters.

Curiously, Ka-Zar, Shanna and Zabu notice disappearing rhinos in… Africa. Wait, aren’t they usually hanging out in the Savage Land? Yes, but I’d surmise that they’re vacationing in Africa, or have travelled there for adventurous reasons (my No-Prize is in the mail, True Believers). However, I’d also surmise that, as this comic is being produced to educate about the “real-world” endangerment of animals, I’m guessing the executive decision was made to put them into an actual “real-world” location with “real-world” animals. A rhino being illegally hunted in Africa is much more in-line with the WWF’s mission; not a giant pterodactyl in the fictional Savage Land.

The heroes all track the missing animals to a mysterious Pacific island, north of New Guinea. Of course, we get the Obligatory Super-Hero Fight of Misunderstanding…and it’s actually mentioned as such! In the words of the late, great, philosopher Robert Marella: “Ho! I love it!”

The dialogue then continues to impress, as it uses the SAME JOKE about underwear that this column opened with:

The island is run by a guy who calls himself “The Conservator”. He’s an extremist who wants to capture and preserve all the world’s endangered species. Of course, he’s also a mad scientist, who looks a little like a Hobbitt, and walks around in a cape!

He traps all of the heroes in electric cages. How can they get out of this?! Why, with one of the most unexpected, random, hilarious, and out-right awesome cameo appearances in Marvel’s history:

DEVIL DINOSAUR!

Turns out, Zabu summoned him. Somehow. Shanna jokes “thanks heavens Zabu is multi-lingual”. Does Zabu have seldom-used animal telepathy powers like Aquaman or Rima the Jungle Girl? Who cares. The appearance is so amazing that it’s not worth nit-picking.

After “that devilish dinosaur” smashes the Conservator’s hopes, dreams, financial investment, and life’s work, the heroes simply TALK to the Conservator and tell him that his ways are wrong. He should focus on educating everybody else about endangered animals, and not simply kidnapping them. He politely agrees and decides to donate his island to the WWF as a wildlife preserve.

Interspersed in the story are informational pages about animals. If you don’t like this picture, then you are a big mean meanie who does mean things!

Right Turn, Clyde

And another of an Orang-utan. Really no firm reason for me to include this picture, other than to make a Clyde the Orangutan reference!

There’s also a dedication page to deceased Carol Kallish. According to Wikipedia, she was a “Direct Sales Manager and Vice President of New Product Development at Marvel Comics from 1981 to 1991”. Oh, and a BIG Devil Dinosaur fan.

Honestly, I really wanted to hate this book and was expecting it to be meretricious. I picked it up in a bargain bin, circa 2008, and never actually read it until recently. Yes, it is cheesy, but writer Peter David makes it accessible and it seems as if he’s having fun with the entire thing! I mean: two decent jokes, cute animals, Devil Dinosaur, and even a Buffalo Springfield reference?! Technically, you even get your “Sabretooth” appearance. It’s basically the same plot and formula as an animated Super Friends “short”, circa 1979. It could’ve been presented like a preachy Public Service Announcement, but the end result is just so adorable that you simply can’t hate on it.

And hey, I have no issues with the WWF and I appreciate them. In fact, if you’d like to “Read More About It”, or even donate, check out their website.