G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #306

Writer: Larry Hama | Pencils: Paul Pelletier

Summary:

To the surprise of maybe 3 people, Zartan easily evades the missile that was launched at him. He then calls the rest of the Dreadnoks together and plans to go on the offensive against…somebody.

In Scotland, Desto and the Baroness are now fully aware that the “Zartan” they are dealing with is an imposter sent by Serpentor Khan and Dr. Mindbender. “Zartan” is trying to convince Destro to attack Springfield. As usual Destro wants to continue the ruse and relay disinformation to his enemies.

Snake-Eyes runs through a UICS (Urban Interior Combat Simulation) and tries out his new gear. He’s finally ditched the Uzi and now has anm HK UMP45, a sawed-off M-79 (grenade launcher), his sword, a 1911 .45 ACP (sidearm) and a “JD Smith Persian Fighting Dagger”. Yet, as Snake-Eyes says, they’re “just tools, Scarlett. The mind is the real weapon”.

In Springfield, Dawn Moreno’s parents are stopped by the local police. They claim they’re heading to Phoenix, but the cops are suspicious. As Mrs. Moreno reaches for a doctor’s letter in the glovebox, the cops assume she’s going for a weapon and open fire.

Finally, a foursome of Joes (Muskrat, Multo, Helix, and Wet-Suit) HALO jump into the Gulf of Mexico and take a raft to Cobra Island.

Notes:

• Okay, they’ve cut back on the “standing around at viewscreens” a bit, but now it’s mostly everybody talking about what they’re going to do!
• I’m sure Hama LOVED writing the Snake-Eyes scene. He shows off his new arsenal and gets Scarlett to narrate and explain all the weapons.
• As Zartan surveys the wreckage of his Swamp Skiier and the offending missile, he notices a logo and thinks it’s MARS. Yet it’s clearly the logo of Revanche. Weird. Either there was a scripting mess-up, or Zartan really is that dense.
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• The scene of the Joes rafting into Cobra Island, at night, reminds me of the first issue.
• For once, the letters page contains some criticism, with one reader mentioning the “silly zombie arc” and hoping it ends by issue 304. Errr…sorry, dude.
• The letters page mentions the “tragic events” of Dawn’s parents, implying that they died from the Springfield cops. Yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if they somehow survived.
• There are also a lot of typos and misspellings in the letters page. Sure, I do those, as well. But I’m not being PAID to type my junk. They are.
• I’ll end with something positive: the cover is a pretty cool image of Snake-Eyes. If I were 12 years old, I’d want a poster of that. Or at least try to re-create it on my textbook that was covered with a brown paper bag.

Characters (figures): Snake-Eyes, Scarlett, Wet-Suit, Helix, Muskrat, Dr. Mindbender, Destro, Baroness, Zartan, Zandar, Zarana, Road Pig, Thrasher, Torch, Ripper, Buzzer, Monkeywrench

Characters (comic-only):  Multo, Serpentor Khan, Oscar Moreno, Elena Moreno, Alpha-001

Vehicles & Stuff (toys): Chameleon Swap Skiier, Cobra Ferret, HISS Tank (cameo), Dreadnok Thunder Machine (cameo)

Vehicles & Stuff (not toys): G.I. Joe C-130, Inflatable raft.

Firsties: none

Rating: 2 Flag Points.