Secret Wars #1 (2015)
“The End Times”
Writer: Jonathan Hickman
Penciler: Esad Ribic
Yeah, yeah… cuz’ I just wouldn’t be a comic book dork if I didn’t give in to temptation and pick up a NEW FIRST ISSUE.
This is (supposedly) the end of the Marvel Universe as I knew it. Ditto for the Ultimates Universe, which I could care not care less about. Since I’ve been slowly getting out of modern/monthly comics, my hopes are that this could be the final tour de force to cap everything off. Blow up your “universes”, give everything a nice send off, then cherry-pick which parts you want to keep, going forward.
Actually a good marketing move, since Marvel can fine-tune continuity to their liking, picking things from comics, movies, cartoons, tv, etc and make it more accessible. Right now, I think comics and superhero stuff is at the highest popularity they’ve been in my lifetime. Even including the late 70’s merchandising craze and the mid-60’s boom (remember when The Hulk was voted on a major college campus as “most popular”, right behind Bob Dylan? Me neither… but Old Folks tell me it happened). Good example of modern popularity: there’s an upcoming movie about ANT-MAN. No knock on that flick (I’ll probably see it), but it is fairly unbelievable that it’s happening.
Anyways, what’s THIS comic about? I have no idea….
It’s a buncha’ sci-fi techno-babble and spaceships fighting in Manhattan. I’ve said it before, but when you’ve got these awesome heroes that can move mountains, you don’t need spaceships and Star Trek techno-babble to try to “smarten it up”. Let heroes use their crazy powers to fight the end of the world. Not “everybody into the flying escape ark”.
The fight sequences are also tough to follow. Even with the opening score card, I wasn’t sure who was on which side, once the panels got rolling. Some of the Guardians of the Galaxy die…and a few other guys. I think. When everybody is just getting zapped, you don’t know if they’re “dead” or just hurt. The fighting itself is just a buncha’ big blasts. Some significant heroes team-up for some unique offense, like Thor and Storm, then “Doc Green” and Colossus. Cyclops shows up with a “Phoenix Egg” and does…uhh…something. Then everything culminates in… another big blast as everything fades to white. Next up is the creation of “Battleworld”, where Marvel is pulling from countless alternate timelines and eras to blow it all off. I get that this was all, supposedly, set-up over the past few years in other comics…but I read the first 30-some issues of the current “Avengers” title; which was supposed to be tied-in to this; and was hella’ confuzzled.
Yes, I’m summarizing and painting with broad strokes. My takeaways from this story were: “buncha’ figthing for some reason. Explosions. Spaceships”.
So maybe the ensuing issues will be fun, but this one wasn’t.
- The story opens with DOOM facing what is, seemingly, a buncha’ Beyonders. I really liked the DOOM/Beyonder thing in the original “Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars“, so I’m glad they’re including this.
- The heroes’ “lifeboat” sorta’ resembles the old arenas that the Beyonder used to gather up heroes back in 1984 (actually 1983… but don’t mess with me).
- As Doom faces the Beyonders, they hint a little bit at the creation of life and “God”. Marvel’s always been a little ballsy to at least attempt to cook up an explanation of how life-as-we-know-it was created. I mean, wasn’t there some concept that the Celestials created the universe and fundamentals of life? Or maybe the whole Kree/Skrull/Inhumans stuff? I’m sure some fundamentalist religious types could skewer them on this.
- Kingpin invites a group of villains (Bullseye, Scorpion, Norman Osborne and a few others) to a bar where they can watch the heroes fight-off the end of the world. The Punisher shows up to crash the party and actually has some pretty fun lines.
Some stuff I did like:
When this series is concluded, I hope I’ll get the good send-off/funeral wake I’m hoping for. Hey, they even got Alex Ross to do the cover. The Marvel and DC universes I’ve followed for over 35 years actually died awhile back. DC’s “Flashpoint” was garbage (and pretty damn identical to the sarcastic “Cosmic Treadmill” idea I proposed back in 2004), so let’s see how Marvel’s own end-point plays out. They want this to be a “new starting point”, but I see it as a clear stopping point. For me, at least. Your mileage may vary.
Summary: “Buncha’ figthing for some reason. Explosions. Spaceships”.
Cover Price: 4.99
Rating: 1.25
