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#91- "No Simple Solutions"
Writer: Larry Hama
Pencilers: Tony Salmons

Summary:
In the Sierras, Snake-Eyes, Jinx, Scarlett and Storm Shadow fight the Red Ninjas. The Reds reveal themselves to be the surviving members of the Arashikage ninja clan...all out to get Storm Shadow for the way he disgraced the group (they all think he killed the Hard Master). The Joes fight them off, barely.

In San Francisco, the Blind Master is beating the crap out of Zartan. Zartan talks about his life has been ruined and how he shamed Professor Onihashi. Meanwhile, Blind Master's apprentice, a young skateboarder named Tyrone has been searching for him. He finds the Blind Master right as he's abut to stab Zartan to death. Tyrone tells him that if he kills Zartan, he will have given in to vengeance and violated all of his teachings. Blind Master re-considers, drops his knife and walks away from Zartan. After Tyrone leaves, Zartan recovers, grabs the knife and stabs Blind Master in the back. With his dying words, Blind Master tells Zartan that Professor Onihashi actually forgave Zartan with his last breath. Zartan feels horrible for running around with all this guilt.

Shortly after, the "Blind Master" catches up with Tyrone and thanks him for restoring his clarity. As the Blind Master and Tyrone walk off to "start from scratch", a familiar holographic shimmer is seen on the Blind Master's leg....

Over in Broca Beach, the Dreadnoks and Zarana continue their brainwashing of Clutch with a virtual reality interface.

Notes:

  • The Red Ninjas mention that they asked Firefly for the location of Snake-Eyes' old cabin. Firefly was on hand for the firefight in issue 31.
  • During his duel with the head of the Red Ninjas, Storm Shadow leaps into a cave beneath a waterfall...where he finds the dead body of Fred I (also from issue 31).
  • If appears that the Soft Master carved a nice little epitaph for Fred I.
  • We don't see it, but it's presumed that the Red Ninja "Boss" gets the better of Stormie. The Joes find him floating down the river at the end of the story. Stormie asks "will my past ever stop haunting me?"
  • Clutch's virtual reality memory destruction is kinda' surreal. The Dreadnoks replace his high school girlfriend with a brainless cheerleader...one who wants to take him to a seminar about cleaning products. We also see the Dreadnoks rip up Clutch's childhood toys... including a Gumby doll.
  • In his teenaged years, Clutch apparently drove a Corvair.
  • Tyrone is actually a white kid. Worth mentioning, because since Blind Master was black, you might assume that his apprentice is, as well. Especially with the name of "Tyrone"... not to sound racist, but that's not a typical white kid name.
  • One of the punk kids who teases Tyrone is named "Estragon". Okay...that's a little close to home.
  • When the Red Ninjas reveal their Arashikage tattoo... some have it on the inside of their forearm, some of the outside of their forearm. Blame Shitty Penciler Tony Salmons for that.
  • Salmons draws an absolutely awful splash page, as his Zartan looks like a mutated camel. He draws Blind Master's face like a radoactive meatball. Indeed, this issue would've scored higher, had Salmons not drawn it.
Appearances:
Characters (figures): Snake-Eyes, Scarlett, Jinx, Storm Shadow, Clutch, Zartan, Zarana, Torch, Ripper, Buzzer, Monkeywrench, Thrasher, Road Pig, Baroness

Characters ("comic-only"): Blind Master (croaks), Tyrone, Red Ninjas, Clutch's Uncle Artie (flashback), Clutch's girlfriend Margaret Boberek (flashback).

Vehicles and stuff (toys): none
Vehicles and stuff (not toys): none to speak of

Firsties:
Characters: Tyrone
Vehicles and stuff: none

Rating: 3 Flag Points

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